My boyfriend of 8yrs dumped me after my last abortion for him Without issues – what Should do? Lady seek for advises

My boyfriend of 8years dumped me without having any issues, after my last abortion for him he started avoiding me, i try to know if i had offended him in anyway but he said no, why then is he avoiding me he said nothing, i know this might sound stupid but we have been together for 8years and 3 abortions this last one is kind of complicating, during the time of these abortion he assured me that he will never leave me,   , i am so heart broken, we took an oath never to leave each other, during the second and last abortion i speak to it before doing the abortion, i mentioned his name into, i hold him by his words before doing it but now he left me shattered, i just can’t stop crying   . I am confused and shattered right now, don’t even know how to move on, i know i have offended God and Humanity but i can’t forgive him, i have cursed him time without number, i reminded him of his promise to marry me no matter what, i really want to move on but i am too shattered.
Any advice will do please.

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