She viciously attacked me for living with a man not my husband at that age

By Ulmate Jewel

After my post the other day, one beautiful aunty decided to lecture my “ignorance” as she put it.

She viciously attacked me for living with a man not my husband at that age.

She even advised me not to let my younger siblings go down the same road.

Her comments was very long and I would normally jump and pass or block you but I decided I was going to address it here in my house.

Dearest sister, at 15 (when I became homeless) you were probably under your parents care, eating 3 square meals a day and going to a good school with no worry in the world.

At 15 when I was getting raped by people meant to protect me, you were under the shield of your father’s protection, I bet you’ve not even started hearing about sex because you’re a mummy’s girl.

At the same 15 when I was made to make the adult decision of either leaving or staying and getting raped the more, I bet the only decision you have to make is of the choice of clothes to wear.

At 15 going to 16 when I was being gang raped by 5 men who have no thought to my future, I bet you were still receiving love letters and giggling with your friends about your crush.

From the same age when I have to move from place to place like a nomad looking for where to lay my head, I bet you’re at home experimenting with makeups.

From that age when I have to be an adult and hawk every single thing in season, you were blooming under the love of your parents with no thoughts for your tomorrow.

When I was getting raped for the third time by a police officer, you were probably preparing for your WAEC exams with no care in the world.

So dear sister, when the final abuser came and said he would marry me, I rushed with joy and rented a place to live with a man not my husband so I deserve to be brutally beaten even with pregnancy so much that my water nearly broke.

But I did it because I wanted that love you had from your parents, I wanted it from somewhere.

I did it because I needed a shelter over my head so I would stop being a prey to predators.

I did it because at that age of 17, I was heavy with a child, devoid of every peace, love, laughter, fun and happiness a teen should have. All those things you never lacked.

Well dear sister, I would not have to be in that position if I had the same environment you had, if I had the same love, protection, shelter, opportunity for an education you enjoyed so go to hell.

I guess you’re a graduate, with a good job and your family cheering you on.

I am a 200L student, wondering how I’m gonna pay my next fees and make first class inspire of my flashbacks and panic attacks even during exams.

I am a single mom, though broke but still waking up daily to try again and again.

While you’re in your fancy room with your phone in hand typing amazing comments, I am in my own little shell stuffing myself with drugs hoping to overdose and die because two months ago, I experienced it all over again.

While you wake up everyday and go to your job and your business, i wake up with my confusion as thick as fog and muddle through my day.

While you’re hanging out with friends and having fun, my 7 year old son is telling me to be careful when walking on the road so that I won’t be knocked down by a car again.

At 7, you don’t even know what life is, but at 7 my son knows that car hit me because I was probably thinking too much, and he knows to tell me sorry because he knows what his mama is going through.

So dear miss perfects out there, well I’m not perfect, I’m still struggling with everything including suicide which I’ve attempted twice for the past two weeks, I know your life is perfect but don’t you dare measure me using yourself as a yardstick.

Don’t you dare tell me that at my age I should have been well to do and successful, get your own success and leave me the heck alone.

Don’t you dare tell me to get married that my mates are doing so, why don’t you go and die because your mates are doing so too? I’ll marry when I will.

Don’t you dare match me up with your brothers and friends or even yourself.

I don’t need your pity.

If if don’t get married, I have a son and he’s enough!

I have enough demons to battle and I won’t let anyone add to it!!

Dear Mr, Miss, Mrs supreme Court judge, your honour, I would have turned out okay if I had your life!

So there!

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