The Difference Between Having Sex and Making Love

  1. Having sex requires only horny people. Making love requires two people in love with each other
  2. On the night of the honeymoon, a couple makes love, they don’t have sex. To understand the ideal we aspire to in intimacy, just look at how much value we place on the night the marriage is consumated
  3. Two people having sex can fail to kiss; but when making love, kissing must be involved
  4. Having sex can lead to regret. Making love never leads to regret
  5. After making love, affectionate words are spoken. After having sex, people dress up and walk away
  6. Having sex is an activity. Making love is an experience
  7. Having sex can make you feel dirty, cheap, evil, used. Making love will always make you feel full, happy, loved up
  8. Having sex is all about the orgasm. Making love is about intimacy
  9. In affairs, people have sex, they don’t make love. Unfaithfulness has nothing to do with making love
  10. People have sex because of lust. People make love because of love
  11. Having sex can happen with many partners, that’s why players play. Making love is exclusive
  12. Having sex can lead to unwanted pregnancies. Making love can lead to unplanned or planned pregnancies, but never unwanted pregnancies. Making love is done in a setup of love and commitment, you are building a future together, the child becomes a fruit of your love
  13. Having sex is all about the physical: the boobs, the bum, the thighs, the man’s tool, the tightness. Making love goes beyond the body, right to the heart
  14. Having sex is all about the performance: did you scream loud enough, did it last long enough, is he big enough, did she get wet enough, was it better than with my ex? Making love is about being close. Having sex puts pressure on how you perform, making love eases the pressure to give you affection and pleasure
  15. Having sex leads to boredom, you get bored and look for a new sex target once you have tasted. Making love is permanent, a meal that fills you up, you don’t taste, you feast
  16. Having sex is about giving it a test drive. Making love is not a test, you don’t make love out of curiosity
  17. Having sex is done in secret, that’s why many say “Keep it on the down low, no one has to know”. Making love is done with pride, the world knows you two belong exclusively to each other
  18. Love songs of the past used to sing about making love, they touched our hearts. It is difficult to find a real love song these days, much of what they sing about is mere sex; and we wonder why so many of us feel lost, empty and hurt
  19. Having sex leads to shallow bonds. Making love leads to a deeper connection
  20. A woman loves it when her hubby tells her “I want to make love to you” and not “I want to have sex with you. The former makes her feel most special
  21. A man keen on having sex sees women as sex objects, a man keen on making love sees her as a woman, a queen. A king makes love to his queen, an immature male sexes women and brags about how many women he has slept with or how the trophy woman fell for him easily in bed
  22. The orgasm when making love is sweetest; it touches your entire being: mind, body, spirit, heart, emotions and soul
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©Ikenna Johnson, from Heart Mender

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